Things are different

So tomorrow is Eid. It feels rather strange this year, as my sister will be on Arafat and the true meaning of Eid-Ul-Adha feels all the more real to me. My thoughts are with her and Im so tempted to sms her to ask how she is feeling, but that would just seem so inappropriate to disturb the intensely spiritual moments she and her husband are probably experiencing right now. And also... what would you say to a question like that? So il rather not put her on the spot either. Maybe it will actually be okay, but I would rather curb my curiosity than disturb her right now.

Apart from that, Eid this year will just feel, and is, already, feeling a whole lot different and just not “normal”. Firstly, my parents will be lugging around four kids tomorrow (which will be a challenging feat). My mom hasnt baked anything for Eid either because of the kids taking up her time during the day, which is the first time ever, that she hasnt baked for Eid and my father is very finicky about his cake and biscuits. It has to be home-made and it has to be hers. But this time, he wont be finicky. He doesnt have much of a choice. Then secondly, Im living in a different house, in a different neighbourhood with new neighbours to wish. Il also have to make my own Eid lunch, which will be something very new for me and which Im not really looking forward to (dont ask).

Then another thing – my paternal grandfather has been very sick ever since my sister left for Hajj. He got a bit faint the week that my sister left and ever since then its been downhill. As far as i know, the few days before then, he was acting a bit frustrated with his inability to do things that he could before and started acting childish, by not taking his pills and not wanting to eat his breakfast. He was and still technically is, a very independent old man and hates anyone to do anything for him. Very stubborn, but I can understand his behaviour. This possibly caused him to faint a bit, because of his sugar levels dropping. He became sick a few times after that and was sent to hospital, but his back home now and very weak. The doctors found a cancerous ulcer on his oesophagus, but they cant remove it, because of his age and his heart issues. He currently has a pacemaker.

Its rather disturbing to see him just lie there all weak, considering about 2 years ago, he was still taking the bus into town and walking around, even though he is currently 86 years old! He still did tailoring work within this year. His generally been very active all his life and to see him all weak is very disturbing for us. More disturbing than sad, in fact. But Insha-Allah he will get better and start eating better. The family’s been there every night for two weeks straight and so it doesnt feel like Eid has actually arrived. The atmosphere is a tad weird.

But nevertheless, Im sure when tomorrow comes, it will once again, feel like Eid always does, because Eid always feels like Eid, if you know what I mean.

After tomorrow, its preps for my sister coming back home. So much to do, so little time. We kind of planning to spruce up her home just a bit, to surprise her, so we’ve got a bit of work to do! My niece wants me to help her make a welcome home sign for them and in my head Im thinking: “You’ve come to the wrong person! (panic)” but hey I might as well try. She also asked my dad to help her make a dishcloth holder for my sisters kitchen, which I thought was so cute! Those kids have always been very creative and Im sure il be seeing lots of “I love you, I missed you” cards and letters either written or typed out and coloured in, the works..
Its going to be a busy week.

Eid Mubarak to all of you for tomorrow! May it be a spiritual and joyous day, Insha-Allah :)