In need of change

Theres only two weeks left until my sister is back home and Im foreseeing those weeks to be very busy. Especially that last few days making sure that their home is in order and making sure the food list is checked for that day. I doubt the pool will be ready for them, but hey, we’re not the pool people and nowhere near experienced. I do hope they appreciate what M has been able to accomplish thus far. It wil be good to be back home though. As fun as it was living in a different house, Il enjoy getting back to my own space.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my sister and her husband and wondering how they’re feeling now. Im sure the build up to the day of Arafat must be a very emotional/nervous time. The kind of thing you only feel once you’re in that position. I often wonder what it must be like to be in Makkah and I just cannot comprehend it. To comprehend being amongst millions of people alone, is hard enough. Then that combined with the fact that everyone is there for the same purpose, knowing that the land you’re treading on is holy and hopefully being at the peak of your spirituality, and being able to see the Kabah... it is hard to imagine. Its overwhelming, just thinking about it. I sometimes wonder if Il make it through all the tears running down my face! Its a journey thats often on my mind and i sincerely hope that I will have the honour of going on Hajj one day, Insha-Allah.

Lately, I’ve been feeling this lack of energy, especially at work and it seems like a chore just to get through the day. At first, I thought it was work that was boring me. But in actual fact, its just me in need of some drastic change. That... and some time off. I’ve just been craving for some alone time and doing new things and activities that I enjoy. I think its time for some leave, some breathing space. I am also halfway to a plan of action for getting out of this really drab time of my life where true passion for something knows no existence, but I wont divulge any of that here. Not just yet. Il be taking some baby steps and then see how it goes. And if all goes well, then Il share it here!

When your mind and body tells you, or rather begs of you, to stop what you’re doing and just breathe, you listen. You have to. And you shouldn’t be afraid. I’ve tried fighting it, but it just wont go away, so I’m trying to submit to the needs of my mind, body and soul. Life is all about making sense,doing whats right, not wasting time, hard work, thinking, purpose, keeping up, change, maintenance, stresses.... but life is also about laughter, fresh air, peaceful moments, good coffee, excitement, long naps, adventure, bonding, scenic drives and passion, amongst other things. I often wonder why it is so hard for many of us to go on any adventure.. even if its just something you havent done in a while, such as riding a bicycle. Just doing something different, is so hectic for our minds and bodies to feel comfortable and so we fear that loss of control or perhaps just guilt for leaving whats right to do and not whats best. We know its good to fill our lives with some excitement and passion, but yet we always struggle to take that step.We need motivation and reassurance, just to do something we know is good for us. Theres such irony in that.

Right now, Im trying to figure out what will help me put back the energy I lost and what will truly fill me and get my batteries recharged..and I know that for me, its not only taking time off from work. Its definitely more than that. I also need to find something that I can be passionate about everyday; have something to look forward to, every morning that I wake up...

Not the easiest task, but Im willing to try. Its the start to my own personal adventure :)

By the way, the weather in Cape Town has been amazing! M and I took a drive out to Hout Bay on Sunday, regardless of all the chores we had at home, because I always believe that when the weather is great, you should be taking advantage of it... domestics can wait, but the weather won’t.

So if you’ve been working too hard and never have time for breaks, thats when you should be taking one. Its good for your soul.